A Thanksgiving Story
For almost everyone, Thanksgiving is a time of rejoicing, being together with family and friends, and being grateful for the bounty received during the year. However, there are many families that are facing a woeful weekend because of lost jobs, lost income, loss of family members, and so on. We picked a family who has been through a difficult year but is going to have a big and happy Thanksgiving anyway. Their story exemplifies what Thanksgiving is all about – being truly grateful.
Beverly Saunders Tope is the matriarch of a large extended family whose story exemplifies Thanksgiving. She came to Ft. Myers Beach when she was 1 ½ years old and her family moved into the Seahorse Apts., which have a long claim to fame as being some of the oldest apartments on the island. She has one brother and her family moved to Hibiscus Dr. in 1964. She remembers fondly going to the Jack and Jill Kindergarten, run by Edythe Shawcross, and the house is significant because she now lives in the house where she went to kindergarten. "I feel like I've come home,” she says.
She went to the Beach School and after a short year at Dunbar Middle, went on to Cypress Lake where she graduated from high school. She has a raft of aunts, uncles, and cousins who come and go in her life, many of whom will be coming by this Thanksgiving. Her grandmother, Georgia Saunders, worked in the Gulf View Shops for many years.
She got married and had a daughter, Wendy, but the marriage didn't work out so she and Wendy moved to a house in Briarcliff. She was living there when she met her boyfriend, John Lacondrata.
John was born in Boynton Beach, Florida, and when he was three the family moved to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. John's father was a musician – played keyboard and sang, and they moved around a great deal. John laughs and says his father was the "only white guy in a seven-piece band that played 50's music.” "Johnny Wayne” was his father's nickname. Mom took care of John, which was important because John had physical challenges that follow him to this day. He had scoliosis and was operated on when he was 15, and has since had a rod put in his back.
John grew up to be a musician as well. He's a drummer, who also knows everything about carpentry and plumbing. He can take a house apart and rebuild it even better, but he is now hampered by his disability. John got married and had one son, John, Jr., who now is grown and married and has two children, one of whom is John III. He was working in Ocala when his marriage failed and he moved to Southwest Florida, bringing his son John, Jr. and John's best friend, George Stetson, who had become part of his extended family.
John was playing a gig in Estero when he met Bev, and he said, "She asked for a song I did not know but I got through it anyway.” They met and talked and when Bev found out they had no place to stay she said, "I've got some rooms to rent so you can move in with us and bring the boys.” As John says, "It was kind of unbelievable, me and two boys from a failed marriage moving in with a woman and daughter of a failed marriage.” As John reflects on it three years later, he says, "The greatest gift of all is finding someone who shares their gifts with you and everyone else.”
We sat in the carport as the sun went down sharing good feelings and sharing stories about families whose lives had changed for the better in the last year.
John tried to start a contracting business but it failed because he couldn't find workers who could really put in a day's work. Even with his back problems, at that time John worked long hours doing everything from framing to plumbing. He would play in a band at night and on the weekends.
In 2007, Bev's business was not doing well and she was let go. She lost her house, her truck, and everything. Her Dad was living in an assisted care facility and had Alzheimer's, but Bev couldn't afford it anymore and brought him home to care for him herself. Her Dad had met a girlfriend in assisted living, Lorraine, who was also wheelchair bound and had dystonia. So Bev brought both of them home and started caring for two wheelchair-bound adults.
By chance, she found out that her old kindergarten house was for rent, and she snatched it up and they all moved in. For a good while, John, Jr. and his wife were without jobs and they moved into an apartment in back of the house. By this time George and Wendy had fallen in love and they lived in the other apartment. Both George and Wendy lost their jobs last year and had to move in with Bev and John and the menagerie.
Between them, they have four dogs, two cats, and two birds. You wouldn't believe the house could hold that many people.
But Bev found out that the Lion's Club helped people get glasses and she called the Beach Club. Pete McCagg, one of the charter members of the club, came out and interviewed her and they scheduled her to get her glasses. She wants everyone to know how grateful she is to the Lion's Club for her glasses and newfound friends. "Everything seems to work out,” she says, "but I never know how.”
John's spine has deteriorated and he now has a hernia and two torn discs. He can't walk more than 30 yards without pain. Without medical insurance, he doesn't know how he is going to get the help he needs. He has applied for Social Security disability, but doesn't know if that will come through or not.
I asked him how many benefits he has played for over the years and he said, "Hundreds. I've done so many free concerts I can't even remember the number.” It seems like time has come for some of the places where he has played to give him a benefit as well.
"So much good has come to us this year,” said Bev. George and Wendy both have jobs and have moved to their own apartment. John, Jr. and his wife and kids live over in Cape Coral. They now have new renters and one of them has agreed to take care of the yard in exchange for some of the rent. "He had a need and we had a need – it just worked out,” said Bev.
They love living here. Bev said, "Everything came true for everybody.” Her Dad has Veterans Benefits, Lorraine has Social Security Disability and John and Bev have renters who are helping out. "We've seen so many people come and go and do well,” John says. "Now Dad doesn't have to take his diabetes medicine because he is eating well and not snacking,” Bev told us. "It just feels good to help others,” they both say. They're now helping a fellow who has epilepsy and can't drive anymore. All he needs is a ride to and from work and they make sure he gets there and back everyday.
"No one goes home hungry here,” says John.
They are planning a big Thanksgiving. John, Jr. and family will be here along with Dad and Lorraine, John, his wife's parents, his wife, Starr's nephews and John and Bev. "Friends and family will be stopping in all weekend,” they say. Bev says, "I'm so grateful this Thanksgiving. I think the worst is behind us.” There are eight of us, and Bev invited us all to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. She told us, "There's a saying from Eleanor Roosevelt that I learned at the Beach School and I've never forgotten it:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift; that's why we call it a present.'”
Jean Matthew